I (Peter) have been to any number of Orthodox services. I've even been to one completely in Slavonic/Russian. I've met bishops, lit candles, venerated relics, and talked with countless priests. I have never been more nervous than I am right now. I'm jittery. I'm biting my nails. I'm not sure why, but I haven't felt this way before attending services. I like it. It means that I still have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not going in as an insider. I know how the service works, I feel comfortable crossing myself, etc; but I am not on the inside yet. I'm just now coming to the place where I'm willing to sit "outside" the church and listen and watch the way the ancient catechumens did before the were allowed to come in and actually hear the services.
I cannot wait until tomorrow. God is so good! I can't believe this past few months are going to culminate in this event tomorrow morning. It's going to be a long drive "just" to get to church. It's like the pilgrim trail to the holy shrine. A journey of three years is going to "end" here and begin here as well. To quote someone from outside of the Church: The journey of a thousand miles is beneath your feet. In other words: if you want to make it to your destination, you have to begin walking--even if the trek is a total of a thousand miles.
I have no idea what this next year is going to throw at us. We may be here in my parents' old house for a very long time, or it may be very short. We may be attending this church for years to come, or we may be called overseas to serve as missionaries. All I know is this: I want it. Whatever this year is going to bring. I want to experience it all with an open mouth and a heart willing to receive whatever God has in store for us. We'll be setting up an icon corner in our house. We'll be beginning to say morning and evening prayers together and reading the lectionary. From there, we don't know. Come and join us!
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