Borrowed from Fr. Joseph Honeycutt's blog.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOUTHERN ORTHODOX WHEN:
Number 10) At Pentecost, your church is decorated with Kudzu.
Number 9) You spell "feast" with only three letters: B B Q.
Number 8) You say "Father," "Barsonuphios," and "Monastery" without any pronouncing an "r."
Number 7) You drive 3 hours to an Orthodox Church. But, could hop, on one foot, with your eyes closed (and a rock in your shoe), to the nearest Baptist Church.
Number 6) Your services are all in English -- at least that's what YOU call it.
Number 5) There are women in your church known as: Photini Beth, Thecla Beth, and Elizabeth Beth.
Number 4) There are men going by: Athanasius Lee, Euphrosynos Lee, and Vasiliy Lee.
Number 3) You got white folks, black folks -- even Democrats -- in your parish, but no Russians, Serbians, Arabs or Greeks.
Number 2) You know someone who knows someone who knows someone with a velvet picture of Elvis celebrating the Last Supper.
AND ... the number one sign that you are an Orthodox Southerner:
You think grits are too good to be considered fasting!
(Original found at http://southern-orthodoxy.blogspot.com/2008/06/bless-your-heart-smallah-smallah.html)